They say that trials make us grow. I think I'm going to be very tall 😄! I've been in hospital for 6 months now, but I feel like it's coming to an end. I was allowed to spend a few weekends at home. It's very strange coming back after such a long absence.
In the last month, I saw the orthopedist. He gave me an injection in my hip to validate his hypothesis that I will need another surgery. Finally, the pain is under control 🤩! I can focus more on my physical rehabilitation. I can now sleep without being woken up by the pain. I will see the surgeon again this week. That's when I will find out if I will have another operation, when it might take place and if I will be able to return home to continue my convalescence and rehabilitation as an outpatient.
Yesterday, I received a letter from the government informing me that I am now declared disabled. It was quite a shock! To console me, I also received my sticker giving me the right to park in reserved spaces ♿. With our Quebec winters, I admit that I will be happy not to have to face the snow in a wheelchair for long distances.
Why was I granted disabled status? Yes, there are the multiple and complex fractures, but there is more. The damage to my brain caused by the head trauma is very present. I have little balance, I am constantly dizzy and I have difficulty with the semantics of words. There are many words that I have forgotten the meaning of, that no longer mean anything to me. For example, the speech therapist had me watch a film and asked me questions to make sure I was following along. The lawyer in the film mentioned that they were going to lower the flags to half-mast. I had no idea what a flag was. She had to show me a picture so that I could understand. It is a bit like I no longer speak French.
And if only that were all! I am now suffering from prosopagnosia which is a neurological syndrome that causes a disorder affecting the recognition of the identity of faces. I will have to live with this problem for the rest of my life. Concretely, if a nurse comes into my room to give me a treatment and she comes back a few minutes later, I am unable to know if it is the same person. Since the accident, I have the impression that there are only strangers around me. I do not recognize people, even the people close to me, my family or my friends. It is very destabilizing. I really wonder how I will be able to live with this problem when I am back in real life. I am so afraid of hurting people by not recognizing them. I hope you will be indulgent with me.
The insecurity of not knowing if I will be able to regain my physical and cognitive abilities is eating away at me enormously. The year 2023 is likely to look like 2022, at least for the first few months. I will have to continue full-time rehabilitation, taking medication, appointments, whether there is another operation or not. As they say in Quebec, I'm not out of the woods!
I leave you with a photo of my office where I manage to work 1 hour a day. My ability to concentrate and my cognitive energy do not allow me to do more for the moment.
There are several of you writing to me and it really makes me happy to see that I am not forgotten. Thank you so much! 😍
